In our lifetime we will make many mistakes – that’s all part of the evolvement process. Our opinions will change as so will our surroundings, habits and perspectives.
What is crucial is that our principles are not broken. The principles I am referring to are no specific to any culture, religion or faith – rather, they are universal and can be validated by any human being on this planet. In the words of Stephen Convey (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People). “Principles are deep, fundamental truths that have universal application. They apply to individuals, to marriages, to families, to private and public organizations of every kind. When these truths are internalized as habits, they empower people to create a wide variety of practices to deal with different situations.” (35). The principles that Convey is referring to are: integrity, honesty, human dignity, fairness…
Simply put, treating and respecting others in a considerate manner is a principle that is a basis of human conduct. Being a solid person does not mean you are nice and kind to people when you feel like it – nice when you’re in a good mood and selfish and mean when you are in a bad mood. It also means that you treat others with consideration nomatter who it is – a friend, a sibling, or the person you buy groceries from. It’s being consistent with your principles at all times and not only when it’s convenient for you.
Unfortunately, I’ve realised that someone close to me conducts themself in a way that often offends and hurts others. He is nice when he feels playful and in high spirits, but can be mean to the point of being a bully when he’s in a foul mood. While due to my relation I have obligations and responsibilities with this person, respecting the person is a whole other story. Whether you are a family member, a friend or an acquaintance – if you want respect, you have to first be and act respectable.
We all slip, we all make mistakes, we all say things we later on regret saying. You cannot dwell on the past, but if you know your actions/words have affected someone negatively, learn from the incident to ensure you do not fall under the same habit the next time. If you are hurting people because of your ways, make it your focus to fix those habits. Be solid – from the little things like showing up on time, not flaking, appreciating others, being courteous – to not just a chosen few, but to everyone.