“the great thing about the heart is that it has no master despite what reason may think” Neil Strauss from the book, The Game

When you share genuine love with another, even in its dark moments, it is still beautiful. The joy, laughter, pain and the tears are all part of the experience. But what if you have feelings for someone who is wrong for you? If he/she disrespects you, doesn’t consider you, or takes advantage of your vulnerability? When all thought and reason tell you to be strong and “toss the putz out”, as my dear friend calls it, you instead succumb to your emotions and allow yourself to be treated in a way that disempowers you.

The person who once made you smile now makes you cry, so why do you let it continue? Is it love or is it attachment? Perhaps you are attached because the way the person treats you reaffirms some negative emotion you have about yourself. That person may bring to surface the insecurity/negative emotions that you are already familiar with, so it’s strangely comforting.
Perhaps it’s a self esteem issue. I have found that many women are so empowered and strong in their career and in so many aspects in their life, but when it comes to a man, they crumble. Myself included, I admit that I have taken disrespect and have compromised myself, making excuses for the other person’s behavior, trying to convince myself of the lie that I’m living in order to hold on to hope. We know our worth in our careers, in our friendships, but why do we sometimes forget our worth when it comes to relationships?

There will be people in your life that you will fall for who will not see your worth and in their self cherishing ways, will bruise your heart. It is very possible that these people have never had real love and care, and therefore do not have the ability to appreciate it even when its right under their nose. These people are blessings, because they teach you so much about yourself. Unfortunately, the process of learning about yourself and revealing your insecurities that you never even knew existed can be a painful and hard one, but they only make you stronger and wiser at the end. Sometimes, we just need to hit a tipping point until we realize, “hey, I’ve had enough” and subsequently, you raise your self esteem and remember your worth.

I’ve come to many realizations this week about myself and I’m grateful to my friends and sisters who have given me their support and a shoulder to cry on. Feeling insecure, rejected, attached, and vulnerable is part of being human. It’s okay to feel sad and it’s okay to cry. But what you do with those feelings and whether you let them consume you or if you turn it into a strengthening and learning experience is your decision.

Know your worth, don’t ever forget how special you are. And if someone makes you doubt your value or makes you compromise yourself and/or your integrity, they don’t deserve you tears.