Like many girls, I grew up reading fairytales and fantasies where my handsome prince would come rescue me, court me and then we’d live happily ever after. As I grew up, the fairy tale in my head slightly evolved to adapt to my life. Instead of thinking I’d find my prince on a white horse, that concept transformed to a vision of a man that would romance me, take care of me and live blissfully with me til we grow old. In the bubble I was in, love, and being in love could prevail all. No distance, no differences, no judgement of others, could ever shake the bond of love.

As my high expectations and idealistic vision was disappointed time and time again, I started to realise that it wasn’t all the guys I was dating that was the problem, it was my perspective.  I realised that love does not prevail all – and at first, this was shattering to what I thought I knew my whole life. When it comes to building a relationship with someone, and potentially spending the rest of your life with someone, being “in love” is not enough. Both partners needs to have a fundamental commonality of core values and principles. If not, nomatter how strong the love, how good the sex, or how high the hopes, it will not work (or at least, the partners will not be in harmony).

How both people handle finances, views on right or wrong, parenting principles – these are the things that come up at some point of the relationship after the honeymoon. It’s like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole – something I’ve been unsucessful at every single time.