This is me venting because only by allowing myself to feel my emotions and process them will I be able to evolve my way of being. Yes, there are way larger problems in the world, but right now, this is my little rant.

My January month has been quite intense…on top of a some serious goals set for myself, major adjustments in adapting to recent changes in my life, battling headaches because I accidentally ran into the window of my parked car which dented my head (I’m a clutz, I know), and getting over a stomach flu which makes food look and smell like cardboard….work has been quite stressful. Typically I can handle stress in the workplace but on top of the plethora of other events in my life which are attributing to my overall stress intake, I have not been able to get the balance that would typcially get me back to my happy equilibrium.

So today I had a talk with a coworker and because I was feeling very stressed, I had a very emotional moment. Actually, to be quite honest, I cried. I cried in that meeting room and proclaimed defeat. While this episode was only momentary and I got back to my senses and back to seeing things in a positive view, I can’t help but feel that I showed weakness and what many can stereotype as a “typical female allowing emotions to affect their work”.

I understand crying, laughing, getting angry at times….these are all part of being human. I have no issues with expressing these emotions when it comes to relationships, family, etc. But when it comes to work I’m in a role where I’m suppose to always have it together, be strong, inspirational, resilient, be an example and a leader… today, I was not able to. That really bothers me.

Then I thought to myself, if this was a male going through the exact same thing (and I look at my coworker and my director), they seem to be able to pull it all off so flawlessly. Is it because I’m a woman, who is either born more emotional or has been socialized to be a very expressive emotional being? Why did I cry when my male counterparts seem to be able to deal with the same amount of stress with what seems like graceful ease?

I’ve learned a few things today. First, I understand that through time and experience, I will face bigger and harsher issues…and soon enough my skin will thicken. I’ve also learned that talking about things is very important…having an outlet to vent, to cry to…however, if in the workplace, it may be better to give yourself a moment or two to allow the fresh emotions to first settle down a bit. Take a walk, listen to music, take your mind elsewhere…but don’t be reactive. Third, once your emotions have calmed and you are able to have a rational thought process once again, try to think of the law of attraction…and that only by thinking and being positive will in turn allow your situation to follow suit in a positive direction.

Resilience is a choice and it takes time and effort and training