The ex girlfriend is always a subject that, whether we’d like to admit it or not, irks us a little. Okay, maybe a lot in some cases. We’ve all had to experience the ex factor – perhaps the crazy one that left your boyfriend a little traumatized or jaded, or the aesthetically perfect JCrew model look alike that makes you wonder if the term “bad hair day” even exists in her vocabulary. Or maybe it’s the ex that just creeps up once in a while – whether in distant memory, a shared song or a surprise trip.

No matter how mature you are or what a bigger person you choose to be, it’s difficult to not compare or wonder how the two of you, apart from the boyfriend in common, could be so opposite from one another. And then you wonder, if the two of you are so different, but he dated her for such an amount of time, then what is the common denominator?

Or is there one?

Yesterday I wrote about soul mates. I mentioned that you can have many soul mates and today I’ll add, you can have many loves and many more connections. When you are in a relationship, and even when you are married with children, you will still come across others that you connect with. And for a second, the thought may run across your mind….what if?

Today I had tea with a dear friend of mine, and we discussed that how in every relationship, no matter how good, or bad, you will come across a point where you meet someone that you connect with. What that connection may lead to is part of the decision that is made. When you have a solid foundation with someone, it is a lot easier to brush it off quickly, and when you’re relationship is rocky, that is when the grass just appears that much greener. Attraction, chemistry and instant connections are part of life and always will be, but I guess as you grow a little older and have devoted yourself to making it work through the good and bad with a life partner, grabbing on to the next branch becomes a lot less likely.

So you may be reading and wondering what the correlation between ex’s and choosing not to run off with the next person you have a connection with is. Well, I have faced a situation where the ex girlfriend and past emotions have surfaced, and I’m trying to be understanding and mature about it. I think that everyone has a right to their feelings, and getting upset or jealous about it is pointless. I also understand that in order to be happy, you can’t stress about the past (or someone else’s past for that matter), or be paranoid about the future. You just have to appreciate what you have presently. It’s actually a really difficult thing to do, and I constantly struggle to be present. But that’s another blog on its own… =)

Thank you for reading…