In our career paths, we generally find the recipe for success is to have a vision and the necessary goals in between. The mentality is that of building blocks, you first need your foundation, and slowly, you build one block on top of the other.

Having a plan with a clear vision and a strategy on how to get there is an important if not fundamental step of achieving success in your career. However, does this same strategy work in developing ourselves in preparation of relationships?

I have a friend who was once in love with a woman. He wanted to commit, she wasn’t sure. It wasn’t her time. They decided the best thing to do was to break up. She moved away, he started a business. But after being apart, she realized that she was finally ready to put 100% into the relationship and wanted to build a life with him. But by this point, he wanted to focus on his career; establish himself first, and once his business was flourishing…then he’d be ready for her – for love.

Two years pass, and he thinks of her still, everyday. Then, one day, his phone rings, it’s her. In the instant she says his name, he knows what she is going to say. She was getting married. To this day, he wonders if he would have ended up spending the rest of his life with the one woman who had his heart – if he only realized that sometimes, there is no next time; and that the only time is the present one.

My friend told me this story and it got me to thinking. I’ve always thought there was an order that needed to be followed to be ready for love. I have to have a foundation and the independence and financial freedom of a flourishing career. I have to fix my bad habits and be completely at peace with myself. I have to reach a level of spirituality where I have ultimate understanding and love for myself. Only at that point, once I’ve accomplished those necessary goals in my career, my financial, spiritual and mental state, will I be ready for love.

A plan is safe, having direction and knowing where you’re going and how to get there is strangely comforting. That way, there are no sudden surprises that can make us fall. We like patterns, knowing what comes next – even if that next is distant in the future, at least we know right?

But maybe it doesn’t work that way. Maybe unlike our career building blocks, we don’t need to pave all the blocks in between in order to build that level on the top. After all, when it comes to the realm of love, no rhyme or reason or formula seems to apply. When it comes to love, a linear time doesn’t apply.

And maybe, just maybe, there will never be a better time. Excuses will always come up, distractions and bandaids for fear will always be a tempting habit. You are the one that decides if the time right in front of you is the one you’ll dare to take.