I have been writing for a few years now, and have been fortunate to be able to share my work publicly.  Part of putting yourself out there means you are susceptible to feedback – both positive and negative. While constructive criticism and a good debate is something I appreciate, malicious slander is something that I find disheartening. Recently, I discovered a string of comments on a forum accusing me of being a racist, amongst other demeaning insults. It was apparent that the anonymous commenters followed my blog, and have made a lot of assumptions about who I am.  The perplexing thing is, these people who hate me with such fervor, however, cannot help but read my blogs and exert energy into what’s going on in my life.  Meanwhile, I have no idea who they are.

Being bullied from the age of 8 to 20, from kids at school spitting on me when I was in grade six to girls threatening my life in my teens, I’ve learned to have a thick skin. I now deflect such commentary because a decade of bullying eventually numbs you to that noise.  I find such behaviour so disturbing and sad. Such individuals have so much hate and anger, that they feel it just to participate in virtual bullying. This behaviour doesn’t ever come from a place of confidence, self-love and happiness. You rarely see someone who is truly happy and content in their life exerting negative energy and insults on to others. Only hurt people, hurt people.

I am writing this because if you are someone out there, that has or may engage in malicious commentary to another person, whether it be to me or someone else, I hope that you do consider that your actions are not harmless. Every day, you make a choice to either contribute to the world or participate in destroying it. If you think that an anonymous hate comment is not a big deal, think again. Of those who are being cyber-bullied, 19% of them consider or have committed suicide. Here is a list of some of the people who have committed suicide because of cyber bullying. The consequences are real, even if the intentions started off as “innocent” name calling.  Imagine, if because of your careless comment, you contributed to someone taking their life? Is it really worth it? You never know someone’s story, what they are going through, or their mental state.

You can hate me, you can call me names and try to hurt me. But, I hope you remember, we’re not that much different, you and I.  After all, we’re all after the same thing: love and acceptance. And just like you,  I have my own story. Just like you, I moments where my inner critic takes over and I wish I was better, prettier, smarter {insert “___er” word here}. I hurt, I cry and feel angry too. I’m trying my best in this world to make a positive difference and I’m trying my best to figure life out. I hope that the next time you feel the need to dehumanize me, or someone else for that matter, that you stop and consider if your future self would be proud of your actions. I hope you stop and think for a moment where your anger is rooted from, and if directing slander towards a stranger is really going to help make you feel better.  And if you choose to proceed anyway, for goodness sake, have the decency to at least not hide under “anonymous”.