Being single again after being in a serious relationship is quite an interesting experience. You realize how much you’ve grown and changed – including your tastes, your attractions, your ways of meeting people, and definitely your boundaries…

If I were to have a dating 101 manual to guide me through all the times I’ve been a complete ass during my relationships and dating experiences…well, I was about to say that I’d be better off now, but really, my stories wouldn’t be half as entertaining.

So when you’re on a date or pursuing someone, when and why does it go downhill? When is that pivotal point where someone goes from the “have potential” pile to the “you’re a douchbag” pile? Usually there is a point when the interest level drops to absolute zero within a matter of seconds.

Since a little dating 101 is never a bad thing, I’m going to share a few tips and pointers for men when trying to attract a girl or get a date.

Here’s to “what not to do…”

When on a dinner date and your glass and my glass is empty, and there is enough water for one glass in the pitcher…do not pour all the water into your own cup. (if you are reading this and wondering if this was you, yes it is and now you know why I would never hang out with you again).

When trying to get me to respond on a dating site, do not get angry that I haven’t responded to your previous message and accuse me of being racist and only liking “white guys”.

If I met you at rave and thought you were the coolest thing and by the end of the night I couldn’t get away from you any faster, blame it on the love candy and not on my insensitivity.

If you are married and have a baby on the way, do not lie about your marital status, leave your own baby shower to take me for bento box and then accidentally leave your msn on for your wife to contact me.

If I make the effort to hang out at your place, you ask me to stay over and I say no, do not let me walk to my car at 1:00 am by myself while you’re perplexed about your non-action night.

Do not count a wad of cash wrapped in a rubber band while eating at Red Robins.

Do not tell me you have over 4 kids and think I’ll still want to make out with you.

Do not hit on me all night and then when I’m not looking, hit on my best friend. Girls tell each other everything. We talk…A LOT.

Probably should refrain from telling me you love me the first time we meet.

If you are an asian gangster with your shirt buttoned half down and carrying your signature LV man purse, do not tell your girlfriends to try to recruit me to hang out with you and your douchebag friends at the club. I can sense douchebag activity a mile away.

On a dating site, do not use any of the following usernames: “SpankYouVeryMuch”, “GreenEyesForYou” or “Daaa Money”.

I know these are recessionary times, but dude, do not ask me to hire you. Pitching while flirting doesn’t go well together.

Ok…that’s a handful of tips, I have more, but we’ll save those for a rainy day – and unfortunately, yes, all of the above are true experiences. Happy dating!